i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
P.S. I can't hear my feet
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
