You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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