We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
