so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
