Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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