I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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