just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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