haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize