and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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