She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
