when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
