there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
