first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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