Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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