He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
