k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
