youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
