absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
