dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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