For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
