Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
