She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
