OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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