3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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