I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
