Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
