girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
