Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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