Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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