I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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