I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
