Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize