When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
