FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
