I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
