the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
