During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
