The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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