Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
