I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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