Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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