That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
