He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize