look no pants
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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