Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize