then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
