I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
