Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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