Duck Duck Cougar?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
