somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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