The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
