dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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