I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
