i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize