she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
