so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize