DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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