I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Randomize
